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Having A Laugh

by Furlong


HAVING A LAUGH by Robert Furlong robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com

===

It started out with the two of us having a laugh. I showed Reece some photos on my phone of our mates doing stupid shit with their cocks out and he said we should go one better and pretend like we were doing gay stuff.

So that's how it started and it seemed really funny at the time. Grabbing each other's wangers in the first few shots and then making it look like we were sucking each other off. After we'd creased up laughing at all those, he said I should stand behind him and act like I was knobbing his arse.

That turned out to be priceless.

He had the back of his trousers and keks pulled down and was bending forwards with my rod pushed into his butt-cheeks.

If you'd seen it, I swear you'd have pissed yourself laughing.

"Trouble is though, Jordan, your dick's too limp," Reece had said. "You need to get it bigger to make it look more real."

So I'd had to wazz off a bit before we'd taken the next photo to get my knob a bit harder and it had seemed kind of weird to be rubbing my prick in front of a mate. But Reece had just made some joke like, "I knew you was a wanker," or something, and I'd pretended I thought it was funny while I was stood there feeling like a total retard, my fist slapping up and down on my pecker and my bollocks jiggling around.

When I had a semi that was big enough, he turned around and bent forwards a bit.

"Shove it between my cheeks this time. It's gotta be believable."

I pulled the skin of my cock right back so I could slide the red part into his butt-crack and I was surprised at how nice it felt once it was in there.

I know that sounds gay, but it did.

I mean, his arse crack was hairy which felt kind of nasty at first, but his cheeks were warm and sort of gripped my helmet, so my dick grew a bit bigger just from where I was pushing it.

"Lower down, you dumb-head!" he called out.

"What d'ya mean, lower down?"

"You've got to push it in lower down, Jordan. Where my hole is."

"I'm not pushing it down there, you div."

I'd noticed he had a few skid-marks on his undies. I didn't want my knob-end anywhere near those had come from.

"Come on, it isn't gonna look like your bodging me if your todger isn't in the right place."

I moved it a bit lower, hoping not to go too close to his pooper, and again I was surprised at how good it felt. Now it wasn't just warm and tight, it was a bit slippery too. I felt my cock getting harder at the feel of where it was and he laughed and pushed back against me: "Yeah, that's it, push it right in!"

I snapped a few photos of us stood like that, the two of us grinning like total planks with my prick pushed into his arse-crack. We fell about when we saw them – Jeez, it looked like we were a right pair of bum-boys – but then Reece said we shouldn't be smiling in the photos, but should look like we were gasping and about to cum.

"And you need to push your cock into me further," he went on. "You can see your bell-end in that shot – it's obvious you're nowhere near actually bumming me."

"It's only supposed to be joke, Reece."

"Yeah, but to be funny it's gotta be convincing," he insisted. "It can't be obvious we're just messing about."

He squatted further forwards and shoved his arse back towards me.

"Go on, push it further in, Jordan. So you can't see your jeb-end."

"I'm not gonna shove my dick inside your butt-hole, Reece," I said. "It'll be fucking well shitty!"

"Come on, mate, it's not like I'm asking you to get proper gay with me," he chuckled, "Just another half inch should do it!"

I did as he wanted me to but by now my rod was getting pretty stiff and when he pushed back against me I could swear the end of it slid inside his hole. It felt hot and really wet and I could feel his brown ring squeezing around my red-end.

I could smell it too: smell his slimy arse as it opened up to take my cock. Not a shitty smell, well not really; just kind of raunchy like a pair of boxers get when you've worn them for a few days and the back of them's gone a bit skanky.

I took a few more photos and we pretended like we were in sexual ecstasy or some shit. Making faces like the two of us were horny for each other, both of us well into it and ready to spunk off at any second. And all the time he kept pushing back against me, so that the hot wetness around my bell-end was slowly working down more and more of my shaft.

At one point I said, "You do know I'm bodging you for real, Reece, don't you?"

But he got really pissed off and shouted, "Fuck off, Jordan! Like hell you are! I mean, fucking hell, are either of us queer or something?"

"Of course we're not!" I tried to laugh.

"Well, we can't be proper bodging then, can we? Only queer fellas do that kind of stuff for real. Jesus, I thought everyone knew that!"

I wasn't sure I followed his logic but if he was okay about having my beef-pole up his butt, it felt nice enough from my side that I wasn't going to complain.

When I looked at the next set of photos I couldn't stop laughing: we really did look like biggest pair of butt-munchers you could imagine. But then I noticed Reece had a great big fuck-off hard-on and that while he was pushing back against me, making that dumb-ass face of his, his knob was standing upwards with its skin pulled right back.

"You've stalked right up, you fucktard!" I told him. "Jeez, mate, look at the size of your prick – you look as if you're built like a fucking donkey!"

Reece grabbed the phone off me and looked at the photo. He chuckled at how turned-on his great big donger looked and said, "Well it's only convincing if I'm running a boner!"

"It's deliberate, you mean?" I asked, still standing there behind him with my own smaller stiffy slowly being nibbled by his hot, wet hole.

"There's no point me doing all this 'ooh-aah, I'm cumming' stuff if my cock's just dangling there looking about two inches long."

I laughed, "Oh yeah." It was pretty obvious really.

We took a few more photos of the two of us acting like we were gaying it right up, him pushing his arse out and me grabbing him by the shoulders. By now the top half of my dick was plugged deep inside his hole and I knew full well when we kept laughing about how we were 'pretending' I was butt-fucking him, it was pretty much bullshit; what we were doing was the genuine article.

Our mates would find the photos hilarious, that much was given, but for me the funniest part of it would be that, while they were giggling away at how stupid we looked pretending like we were bumming, they'd actually be looking at me with my knob up Reece's arse for real.

But he didn't seem that bothered that he had a good few inches of my wanger inside him. As long as neither of us were gay, a bit of bum fun was okay for him; as long as it was just the two of us having a laugh, it didn't really count.

I pulled out of him in a hurry when we heard his mam come home from work and we quickly yanked our pants and trousers back up, giggling like we were a couple of naughty kids. I told Reece I'd sort the photos out before the weekend and he laughed that one of our mates Callum, who everyone says sucked a fella off behind a bus shelter, would probably get a full-on boner when he saw them.

That same night when I was lying there wanking off in bed, I wondered what the skanky smell was that was growing really strong. I put my face under my sheets and instead of smelling my usual cheesy cock smell, the whole of my bed stunk like Reece's arse. It was under my foreskin as I was jerking it back and forth, my big purple helmet stinking like I still had it up him.

The crazy part was, though, instead of being grossed out, the smell made my cock swell massive in my hand. I was like, "Fucking hell! This is well hot!" and I started whacking my fist fast and hard like I do when I haven't tossed off for a few days.

It was as if I was shagging my mate's arse while I jacked myself off: his smell was so strong I could really imagine that I was fucking his butthole right there and then. I loved the dirty stink of it wafting from my bell-end: this was proper raunchy sex; what it would be like for the two of us lads to be rutting together with my cock up his shitter; gasping and panting, sweaty and hot.

I shot the biggest wad I'd blown for ages. I even hit my face and got some of it on my lips. It was like I was a young man again I was that horny.

The next night after that when I wanked off wasn't half as good even though I hadn't washed my dick, so I came up with an idea of how I could get the smell of his arse on my helmet again.

I said, "Those photos didn't turn out that good in the end. It was way too obvious we were just messing about."

I'd thought Reece would say I should Photoshop them; I'm always cutting pictures together, making stupid mash-ups to go on Twitter.

But he didn't. He went in straight for the bait.

"Do you want to do it again?" he asked.

"I suppose we could," I answered, surprised at how keen he sounded and trying to make it seem like I hadn't really thought it through. "Only... you know... if we do, we shouldn't pull all those stupid faces. We should just pretend like I'm porking you, all serious and full-on."

"I could do you this time," he offered. "I could wedge my dick between your butt-cheeks."

"I didn't mean swapping places," I said in a hurry. "I just meant like we did last time, only with less titsing about."

"Go on, Jordan, it'll be way funnier to do it both ways," he insisted. "We'll do it your way first, and then you have a try of bending over. It's only fair, mate."

I wasn't too sure but I really wanted to smell his butt stink that night when I jerked off so I said okay.

"Your go first, then," he'd grinned and turned around to pull down the back of his trousers and pants and show me his bare arse.

This time there was no need for me to wazz off in front of him to make myself hard. This time just the sight of his butt-cheeks, and the thought of that horny-as-fuck smell that I knew was between them, had my todger throbbing even before I'd unzipped myself.

"You're well up for this, Jordan," Reece laughed when he saw my donger at full mast.

"I just want it to be more convincing this time, mate."

He chuckled, "Yeah, me too!" and flashed me his own prick which was also rock hard and looked even bigger than I remembered.

He bent over for me and opened his legs as wide as he could with his trousers around his knees. He was wearing different coloured pants but they had skid marks on them the same as last time. That made me smile: this would be nice and smelly; just what I was after.

I shuffled up behind him and nuzzled my dick between his cheeks. He didn't have to tell me where to put it: I found his bullseye with one quick lunge.

"Oh fuck!" he called out and grabbed his own wood, tugging it a few times while I eased myself into that hot, slimy hole of his.

"D'you actually like this?" I asked, not really believing that a guy could enjoy having his arse bodged.

He turned to me with a look of annoyance. "Of course I fucking don't! It's not like I'm gay, you dipshit! I just need to keep my dick hard – make it look more real for when we start taking photos."

"Oh right," I said back.

Jeez, I could be such a nonce sometimes. As if he'd enjoy having my prick shoved up him.

As I reached for my phone and held it out to the side of us, his hand kept working hard to keep his boner and I felt his arse open up a bit further. My own knob slid a few more inches into him, kind of like fucking a girl but with his tunnel much hotter and the sides more sticky.

He didn't seem to notice that I'd just worked half my dick into his butt and I felt his ring squeeze tight behind it, holding my shaft firm.

"I can feel your balls against the tops of my thighs," he said, in a totally matter-of-fact way. Like it was the most ordinary thing for one guy to say to another.

I took a couple of photos and then checked them out. They looked totally hilarious: him wazzing that massive donger of his, with my cock stuffed halfway up his arse and my knackers pressing into the backs of his legs. This time we looked like we were proper into it: our faces made it seem like we were doing it for real.

I had good laugh and then showed them to him.

He laughed too: "Oh fuck, Jordan! You can see your prick up my fucking poop chute! We look like a right pair of nancies!"

I grabbed the phone back and looked at the shots again. I didn't think we looked like nancies at all: we didn't look girlie or camp or any shit like that. We looked like a couple of horny-as-fuck lads seeing what bumming felt like which was, if we were being honest about it, pretty much what we were.

I switched the phone back to camera and he turned to look over his shoulder at me.

He said, with a smirk, "Shove your knob right in so can get a shot of your pubes against my arse-cheeks!"

I couldn't help but grin back down at him as I pushed my cock further into his hole. He gasped and worked his arse against me, his hairy butt-cheeks swallowing the rest of my cock right up to the hilt.

I took a couple of photos of us joined together like that and then chuckled as I looked at them.

I said, "I dunno if we can show the guys this."

He grabbed the phone off me and laughed at us stood there, my full seven inches plugged right up his butt and my fat, hairy bollocks pressing into the backs of his thighs.

"Why the fuck not? This is fucking legend, mate!"

"It's one thing pretending we're bumming, Reece. But this is like proper gay stuff!"

He turned to me looking arsed off. "Aw, don't start all that bullshit again, Jordan!"

"How's it not gay for me to have my cock shoved all the way up your arse?"

"Stop with the fucking gay shit! Lads mess around like this all the time. It's called having a laugh... banter..."

"You reckon?"

"I know it, mate! I mean, how can it be gay for us do stuff like this if we're not gay ourselves? How would that work then?"

"So it's only gay sex when it's gay guys doing it?" I asked him.

"That's the whole fucking point, you dick-splash!" he laughed. "That's why everyone'll think it's so funny!"

After I'd taken a couple of photos underneath us, of our two pairs of bollocks with only one massive knob – his – out in front, he suggested I should video the two of us. That would have our mates laughing themselves shitless, he said, seeing a clip of the two of us going at it like a couple of boned-up butt-pirates.

I fiddled with my phone while he kept jerking himself off, aware that his arse was squeezing at my shaft in time with his hand. Once I'd got the thing working, I propped it up against an old pizza box that he had lying around, the little red light flashing as it filmed what we were up to.

"How d'ya wanna do this, then?" I asked him, grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Just move against me like you're fucking a girl," he said, "and we'll both make on like we're really loving it!"

I laughed. "Okay. But not too full-on," I reminded him. "Not like last time."

I pulled my dick out a bit, like you do when you're starting to fuck, and the smell from his arse hit me full on.

"Oh Jesus," I muttered to him, working up a slow rhythm. "It fucking stinks doing this!"

"My bum?" he asked, sounding a bit freaked out.

"Yeah," I grunted, still moving in and out and looking down at my rod. "And what's on my knob."

"Sorry, mate," he laughed and then added kind of sheepishly, "maybe I didn't wipe that well."

"You don't have to be sorry," I told him, steadily increasing my pace. "It's fucking well class! Makes it... you know... different from shagging a girl!"

He sniffed the air a few times, his hand getting faster on his cock. "Cor, I see what you mean, Jordan! It stinks proper horny!"

"This must be what it smells like when gay fellas go at it!"

He laughed and really started yanking at his meat. "Aw yeah! It's like well nasty! It's made my dick as hard as fuck!"

He turned back to look up at me and we smirked at each other.

He whispered, still bashing away at his knob, "We're just acting up for the camera, yeah?"

I laughed back at him. "Course we are, mate! Gotta give the lads a good show!"

Reece chuckled, "Yeah, this is gonna be an absolute fucking belter!"

I grabbed him by the hips and fucked him properly. Just like I would screw a girl if I was doing her from behind. Hard and fast; taking long, smooth strokes.

Except there was no way I could tell myself this was anything like shagging a girl. The smell from Reece's arse was always there to remind me of what we were doing and yet at the same time it was making my dick swell so hard it starting to ache. And the sight of his forearm beating away at his cock – knowing that another straight lad could get turned-on from having my knob up his butt made me feel like, 'how fucking sexy must I be?!'

I don't know if that makes sense.

Anyway, next thing Reece was calling out, "Oh God! Yeah! Come on, Jordan! Fuck me hard!"

And by now I couldn't tell if he was just acting up for the camera or whether he really was loving having it up him.

I upped my rhythm: really going for it on his butt; hammering my cock in and out of him so fast that my hips were slapping loudly against his cheeks.

This was so much better than it had been in my bed; wanking off and imagining it was Reece's arsehole sliding up and down my knob. I mean, that had been good but this was totally top shelf.

I'd had no idea that shagging another lad up his dirt-packer would be anything like this. I remember thinking this must be why blokes in prison get a taste for it and want to keep on doing it with other fellas, even when they're back out and have their wives there for them. It was as hot as fuck and I was going to make sure that there was no way it was going to be just a one-off for me too.

But then you know what? Reece went and pulled away from me so that my cock slid out of him with a wet, sloppy fart.

Before I could have a go at him, he turned with that massive hard-on of his pointing up at me and said, "Come on, Jordan, turn round! I want to do you... like we agreed..."

"Do me?" I asked, looking down at how nasty my dick looked from being up his butt.

"Yeah, now it's my turn to pretend to bum you," he said. "I might even pretend to spunk off in your arse."

"Okay," I nodded, not feeling too keen on it but well aware that I'd agreed. "But I get to pretend to spunk off in yours straight after."

He said that I could and we quickly changed positions. Now I had to show him my bare backside and I was thankful that the back of my keks was in a better state than his.

Almost before I'd pulled my trousers down, he had his cock jabbing between my butt-cheeks. His dick was loads wetter than mine: his pisser was dribbling precum like a dodgy tap. The fat head felt slimy as he pushed it into my crack and he laughed at hairy I was back there just like I'd noticed about him.

I bent further over for him, reaching back to open my butt-cheeks for him. I felt like a total bum-boy doing that with another lad but as he'd said, I'd agreed he could have a turn.

"Not too rough, mate," I warned him when I felt his knob-end hot against my hole.

"Just relax, Jordan, and remember to make a show for the camera like I did."

I glanced over at the flashing red light on it, wondering how I'd look doing this. How would the guys in the pub react when they saw me bending over for Reece, shoving my sweaty, hairy arse-crack against another guy's dick? Would they laugh, like Reece said they would, or would they say we'd taken the joke too far and done stuff with each other that was way out of line?

Reece grabbed me by the hips and told me he was going to start working his cock into me.

"Call out stuff and wank your dick off like you're loving it," he said. "Just like I did."

"I'm not even slightly hard, mate," I told him. "My knob's died and gone to heaven."

It had gone soft as soon pretty much as I'd pulled the back of my pants down. Offering my fudge tunnel to another lad's shiny bell-end isn't something I find that sexy, funnily enough.

He didn't seem to care. "Well, just think nice thoughts and pretend you're enjoying it. Try to make it look as convincing as you can. It'll be funnier that way."

He pushed his knob against my hole and even though it was so big, its slipperiness made it slide in a bit. Like he'd done with me, I tried to relax my bum enough to take it and every time it thrust between my butt-cheeks, it squeezed a bit further up my chute.

It felt enormous inside me and I had to pretend like I was taking a dump to make my arse open wide enough to take the thing up me.

"Aah, that feels well tight... even better than a minge," he muttered as it went in another half inch. And again I wasn't sure if he was just acting for the camera or if he meant it.

He started fucking me slowly like he probably did with girls, his cock slowly working further into my bumhole every time he bucked his hips towards me.

"I see what you mean about the smell, Jordan," he said. "It really fucking stinks once you get started."

I sniffed the air and could smell it myself: the whiff of my own arse, quite different from his. His was a bit like dirty, sweaty underwear; mine was much meatier, more crude and pungent.

It would never have occurred to me that him shoving it up me would smell different from me doing it to him, but now that it had I found I quite liked it. I could feel my cock growing between my legs as I sniffed more and more that distinctive odour of my own butt being fucked.

He grabbed me by the shoulders and started pumping his knob faster. I could tell that, just as I had, he liked the stink of another lad's arse being buggered.

"Jesus Christ, that smell!" he gasped, inhaling it deeply. "It's so fucking hot!"

He made a really strong lunge and got the whole shaft of his fat cock all the way up inside me. His hairy nuts were tickling my arse-cheeks, slapping against them every time he thrust back and forth.

"And this is with us just pretending, Jordan! Imagine how rough it would stink if we were doing it for real!"

I smiled towards his carpet, feeling my own dick growing steadily harder. Did he really think it would be that different if we were doing it as two gay guys?

He grabbed me by the hips again and started butt-fucking me fast and hard, standing behind me whacking his hips against mine.

"I need to wank off, mate," I told him urgently. Being bent over like I was, I couldn't do it like I wanted to.

"Yeah, say more stuff like that, Jordan!" he whispered. "Act it up for the camera!"

"I'm not acting up!" I grunted. "My cock's gone proper hard again!"

I don't know why, but being bent over like that and feeling another fella's massive schlong ramming in and out of my bum had really got me really horny. My cock was feeling full-on boned, straining and pulsating with the veins sticking up in knots the way that girls say creeps them out.

Reece pulled me up so that my back was against his chest and reached down and started beating at my shaft while his own rammed in and out of me.

I grunted my thanks: Jeez, having him wank me off felt so fucking good!

I could suddenly smell Reece's own distinct butt stink really strongly again; it took me a few seconds to work out why. It was on my dick as he was jerking my foreskin up and down; smeared over my cock head and streaked down the shaft.

His whole room must stink of our arses: his on my cock as he tossed me off; mine being ploughed roughly by his.

He turned to the camera and said, half-laughing half-panting, "Come on, Jordan, let's really put on a fucking show! Make the guys think we're a couple of honest-to-god bum-drillers!"

We both turned to face it, grinning at the flashing red light. I pushed my arse backwards, so that they'd see Reece's cock pumping away between my cheeks, and then thrust my hips forwards so that they'd see my big veiny cock being wanked off and the mess on Reece's hand would tell them where it had been.

I laughed at the sight we'd make and how hot it would be to have all these other blokes gathered round watching me getting shagged up my brown ring. The funniest part was that I really liked it. Who'd have thought I'd enjoy having another fella up me?!

But then my laughter died away as my bollocks gave their five second warning.

"I'm gonna fucking cum, Reece! Jeez, I'm gonna shoot!"

He kept pounding my cock, chuckling and grunting, as I found myself whimpering through one of the strongest nut-offs I've ever felt. I'd heard guys say it's good to spunk up with something stuffed up your shitbox, but I'd never tried it and had no idea it would feel so good.

He kept banging away at my arse with my cum squirting over my chest and his hand. And then I felt a burning hot feeling inside my guts and I kind of dimly figured he was also blowing his wad.

After he'd pulled out of me with a fart even sloppier than his and we were standing with our stinking, slimy cocks starting to droop down, he grabbed the camera and we looked at the video.

He laughed at the part where he was working his dick up my butt and said, "They're gonna totally think this is the real deal, Jordan! We're gonna have them over a barrel – hook, line and sinker!"

"And you're absolutely sure they're not gonna think it is the real deal, mate?" I asked.

He looked at me like I'd insulted him.

I went on, "I mean, won't they say we were actually butt-fucking each other? Isn't that what we were doing?"

"Fuck me, Jordan! Of course they fucking won't! Don't go saying shit like that!"

"But our dicks were up each other's arses, mate. We both spunked off."

"Oh, come on, you knob-head. I keep telling you, it doesn't mean diddly fuck 'cause we're not gay!"

"Is that how it works then?"

"Of course it does! This was a just a joke. The guys'll be rolling on the floor when they see the two of us doing this shit. I can guarantee it."

I wondered if that was true; whether our friends really would see it like Reece did. Maybe they would. Maybe I was the only one who was making more of this than I should.

Still, the thought of showing them the video suddenly seemed like a stupid thing to do. Reece might think it was only the two of us having a laugh, but I could see the rest of our mates thinking we'd taken the joke way too far. I didn't think they'd find it funny; I thought they'd be like, "What the fuck?!"

I grabbed the phone off him and was about to delete the video when he said, "Tell you what, Jordan. Get it on your PC and cut it down to like five or ten seconds or something. And make it darker so they can't see that much detail. Just a few seconds of grainy footage – enough to get them interested and wanting to figure out what we was up to. You can do that can't you?" I smiled. That wasn't a bad idea. I knew enough about Movie Maker to take out all the dodgy stuff and strip the audio off it altogether. Leave just enough to get them guessing. Have them pausing it and trying to figure out what the fuck we'd really been up to.

Except that when Reece showed the lads the video in the pub that weekend, I realised that what had looked dim and blurred on my monitor at home looked like it had been floodlit from all sides when it was playing his phone.

Must have been the fucking codec or some such shit. Never could understand that kind of stuff.

Our mates gathered round, stunned at what they were seeing.

Oh Jeez, even from where I was sitting I could see Reece's fat cock slamming in and of my arse.

When the clip finished playing, our mate Dan spoke up first. His face looked shocked and he looked straight at me.

"Fucking hell, Jordan. I had no idea..."

"Look, I... er... we were just... you know... messing around..."

Dan ignored me. "I mean, I knew you were good at editing movies and shit, but fuck me – this is the nuts. It's like totally convincing."

Reece grinned. "Yeah – even had me fooled."

Tomo said, "How d'ya do it, then? Stick you guys' heads on a gay porno or something?"

Flanners laughed over from the next table. "Oh yeah, I saw someone do that with 'Silence of the Lambs' during the World Cup. Stuck Louis Suarez' head on Hannibal Lecter's body!"

The other guys watched the film again, pointing out the bits where they thought our heads didn't quite match up with the bodies and Tomo laughed that there was no way Reece's cock was as big as the guy in the movie.

While they were pausing it over and over, trying to spot a glitch, Callum – who's usually the quiet one of our group – leaned over to me and said, "That's some pretty impressive editing, Jordan. What did you use, Photoshop?"

I agreed without thinking but then wished I hadn't. Something about the way he stared at me told me he knew you couldn't use Photoshop on videos.

Later on, as the phone was being passed about and the video shared between guys we didn't even know, Callum muttered to me and Reece: "You guys really need to make another movie like that, but next time you should take it a step further. Do some stuff that's even more hardcore and really get everyone talking."

"How do you get more hardcore than pretending like he was bodging my arse?" I chuckled.

"Maybe do a gay threesome," he smirked. "I could help you guys out, if you want to give it a go."

Reece nodded wide-eyed and you could tell he was well up for it.

Callum went on, more quietly, "We could film us pretending like we were shagging, three fellas in a row. Or you two could be going at it, the same cock and bum stuff, and I could be out front pretending to suck the front one off. Or even behind licking the back one's arse. You reckon you could edit all that into a movie? Using... what was it again? Photoshop...?"

I smiled at him, admiring his style. "I reckon I could, yeah."

He grinned more broadly at us both. "Should we do it tomorrow, maybe? Just, you know, the three of us having a laugh...?"

Reece and I nodded back at him like kids being offered sweets.

"Fuck yeah!" we said together.

===

robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com

===


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79 Gay Erotic Stories from Furlong

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A Walk in the Park

A WALK IN THE PARKPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlongrobert

Adam and Steve

ADAM AND STEVEPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Air BNB

AIR BNB by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com === "So first thing next day I knocked on their bedroom door to say good mornin' and one of them called out, tellin' me to come in." "This was one of the gay blokes who owned the house?" Brian asked. "Yeah. I think I was the only one rentin' a room that night." He nodded and I went on.

Awake with Jake Part 1

AWAKE WITH JAKE PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===

Awake with Jake Part 2

AWAKE WITH JAKE PART 2by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===

Awake with Jake Part 3

I got into bed with Marcus, having to push him to one side so that the two of us could fit into the single bed.

Awake with Jake Part 4

AWAKE WITH JAKE PART 4by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===I looked at the clock. It was going on for three. At this rate, I was going to need half a jar of coffee to get me going in the morning.I'd been enjoying having horny thoughts about the first time I'd hooked up with Marcus, and it had been nice to lie here snuggling into his back and

Badly Drawing Boy

BADLY DRAWING BOYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===While Matt Strickson's PowerPoint presentation was unremittingly dreary, the way his arse flexed and rippled in the back of his tight grey trousers every time he turned towards the whiteboard was more than enough to keep me entertained.

Bedtime Stories

BEDTIME STORIESPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Blast from the Past... and from my Son!

BLAST FROM THE PAST... AND FROM MY SON! by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === Warning: contains mild scat === The night before Jake and I were going to watch Liverpool play Leeds, the tumble drier decided to break down. I had, of course, left the bulk of the laundry we needed until the night before our trip and so we had a large pile

Both Ways

BOTH WAYSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===At first I was convinced my ex-wife was in the bed with me.It was Sunday morning and I was in that half-dreaming half-dozing state I sometimes end up in when I've slept too long and I really should get up. I'd opened an eye to check the alarm

Bunk Buddies

BUNK BUDDIESby Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===My fuck-buddy Rob has always been fascinated to hear about my time in prison. I told him early on in our hook-ups that life inside hadn't actually been that interesting – that it was mostly mind-splittingly dull and that the sex, such as it was, was brief and infrequent – but he keeps asking about

By Popular Demand

BY POPULAR DEMANDPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Candid Cameron

CANDID CAMERONPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Carried Away

CARRIED AWAYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===Pulling out of the car park after meeting Cameron, I couldn't help but marvel at how much nerve he must have. Imagine going back to a stranger's flat and rimming him while his mates looked on! The idea of doing something like that myself was

Coupling Up

COUPLING UPPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===I was back at the small toilet building tucked away among the trees in the park.Curiosity about what I'd seen there on my last visit had got the better of me and I'd left the office early with the excuse of having a bad stomach and the

Danny Comes to Stay Part 1

DANNY COMES TO STAY PART 1 robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === As we undressed for bed, Alex said to me, "I feel kind of sorry for Danny." "Sorry for him? You're kidding me!" It was hard to believe he would feel anything but mistrust for my ex. He hadn't been keen on Danny visiting us, and sure as hell hadn't been comfortable with him staying over with us for

Danny Comes to Stay Part 2

DANNY COMES TO STAY PART 2 by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === Perhaps it's not surprising that my husband had lost his hard-on while he was watching my ex hungrily rimming my splayed hole. "Just gonna get him nice and slippy," Danny had said before plunging his face into my butt crack and giving me the most intense and satisfying

Doing the Dirty Part 1

DOING THE DIRTY PART 1by Robert Furlong===robert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===

Doing the Dirty Part 2

DOING THE DIRTY PART 2by Robert Furlong===robert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===It's odd but strangely compelling to watch your own son masturbating right there in front of you. I was fascinated to see how different his technique was from my own – his hand seemed so much more frantic and his fingers more agile – while marvelling at so many physical

Don't Freak Out (Part 1)

DON'T FREAK OUT (PART 1) by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === For several months, I'd been promising my son that I'd show him how two men can make love very intensely and passionately together using only their two cocks. Jake is young and bisexual but when it comes to other boys, he has made it very clear that his interests are

Don't Freak Out (Part 2)

DON'T FREAK OUT (PART 2) by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === "I'm not gonna freak out, Rob," Guy assured me. "I'm just surprised, that's all..." I smiled at him again to show that, even though he was quite visibly shaken by what he was seeing, I was more than comfortable to have my son's mouth slurping up and down my large erection in

Doubling Up Part 1

DOUBLING UP PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===I opened the front door to find Guy grinning at me broadly, his son Simon following right behind. I showed them through to the sitting room, where Jake introduced Simon, who he'd been to school with, to Marcus, his friend from university.While I was busying myself collecting in coats,

Doubling Up Part 2

DOUBLING UP PART 2by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===

Doubling Up Part 3

DOUBLING UP PART 3by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===It felt odd for my son and me to be squatting naked together, his back rubbing against mine, but I was sure it must feel even stranger for his best mate Marcus who was lying out on our front room carpet, facing upwards at our two splayed bums and pressing the twinned heads of a double-ended

Driving Home for Christmas

DRIVING HOME FOR CHRISTMASThe epilogue to the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert FurlongContact me for the full series: robert.furlong@rocketmail.com===Jake looked over at me and we grinned at each other.I was desperately pleased to see him and I could see that he was pretty chuffed to see me, even though he hadn't found the time to phone home in over a fortnight.

Dropping the Bottle Opener

DROPPING THE BOTTLE OPENER by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === So he bends over to pick up the bottle opener, his jeans so far down you can see his arse inside his boxers, and I say, "Fuckin' 'ell, Tyler! Are you deliberately flashin' me an eyeful o' wank-fodder!" He turned to grin at me, still bending over, and reached round to the

Father and Son Moments

FATHER AND SON MOMENTSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===

Football Match

FOOTBALL MATCHThe start of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===Considering the impact it was to have on my life, it now seems difficult to believe that it came with no warning. But then, I suppose that's true of almost all of life's most momentous events: they emerge unannounced amidst the most boringly ordinary of our daily routines.

Friday Night at the Furlongs' Part 1

FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE FURLONGS' PART 1 by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com === The first night I slept with my twenty-year-old cousin Jake, the two of us snuggled up arms around each other in his double bed, confirmed to me that I was more into guys than I was into girls. It just felt so right to be close to another dude like that, our two big

Friday Night at the Furlongs' Part 2

FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE FURLONGS' PART 2 by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com === It was beaut having Uncle Rob's mate Guy over for the evening. He's always up for a laugh and it's great how his no-nonsense way of speaking and brash sense of humour are so at odds with the airs and graces Uncle Rob puts on. It was especially great, though,

Friday Night at the Furlongs' Part 3

FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE FURLONGS' PART 3 by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com === "Whoa! I didn't know you guys were playing piggy-backs in here!" Jake called out when he saw his dad on all-fours with Guy squatting behind him. The hairy broad-chested plumber chortled across at his fuck-buddy's son. He always enjoyed a bit of banter with Jake.

Furlong Four Play Part 1

FURLONG FOUR PLAY PART 1 by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com === It was nearly teatime on Saturday afternoon and my cousin and I were sitting on his bed with his mate Marcus from university. Marcus had come to visit from Surrey where his parents lived, and even though he'd only arrived on the train that lunchtime, things were already getting

Furlong Four Play Part 2

FURLONG FOUR PLAY PART 2 by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com === I didn't get my threesome with Jake and Marcus after bedtime. It wasn't that my cousin and his buddy didn't recover themselves after the jerk-off we'd had before tea, it was just that by the time the three of us collapsed into Jake's bed, we'd had so much fun with Uncle Rob

Further into the Furlongs Part 1

FURTHER INTO THE FURLONGS PART 1 by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com robertfurlong.tumblr.com === "Look, about last night," Jake said, walking into the kitchen. It was the morning after I'd stormed out of his bedroom and he was, no doubt, going to try to make amends. I figured I knew what my cousin was going to say. That he was sorry he'd messed things up by

Further into the Furlongs Part 2

FURTHER INTO THE FURLONGS PART 2by Robert Furlong===robert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===Jake was still a bit offish with me next morning, giving me a wide berth in the house and keeping conversation to a minimum. After lunch we went to meet a couple of his mates and I thought he might be a dork by dissing me in front of them and taking the piss out of my

Getting Together

GETTING TOGETHERPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comFind my older stories at screeve.org===

Giving Smithy a Bum-Job

GIVING SMITHY A BUM-JOB by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === He kept going on about how hard-up he was. How he hadn't had his cock up an arse for however long it was and how his balls were so blue that a fart would get him off. Me and Biggsy kept laughing at how desperate he was acting but I kind of felt sorry for him in a stupid sort

Go Ahead

GO AHEADby Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===Whenever I need to use a public toilet, I invariably go into one of the cubicles even if the entire row of urinals is empty. This used to be because, having had some bad reactions from women at the large size of my manhood, I was self-conscious about exposing my genitals to other people and preferred

Guilty Pleasures

GUILTY PLEASURESPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===Jake and Simon were focussed on the afternoon's football game when they emerged from their hotel bedroom and there was no mention of what had taken place between their dads the previous night. Guy was his usual bright and breezy self, but I was feeling more subdued: troubled

Having A Laugh

HAVING A LAUGHby Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===It started out with the two of us having a laugh. I showed Reece some photos on my phone of our mates doing stupid shit with their cocks out and he said we should go one better and pretend like we were doing gay stuff.So that's how it started and it seemed really funny at the time. Grabbing

How Do You Like It?

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?Part of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Hypothetical Hitch-Hiker Part 1

HYPOTHETICAL HITCH-HIKER PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===The lad grinned across at me, pleased for the lift. I wasn't going exactly where he wanted, but I could take him to a motorway junction twenty miles short without too much of a detour. He'd have to sort himself out from there: either stand in the cold with his thumb sticking

Hypothetical Hitch-Hiker Part 2

HYPOTHETICAL HITCH-HIKER PART 2by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===We both positioned our respective underwear in front of us – the outer and less intimate surface of the gussets facing towards us – and Dane lifted mine up to his nose first. I followed his lead, applying the outside of his shorts to my nose even though I would have strongly

Jake's Christmas Present

JAKE'S CHRISTMAS PRESENTThe final part of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert FurlongContact me for the full series: robert.furlong@rocketmail.com===>> NOTE TO READERS>> I wanted to add a message to this final part of 'Butt Monkey' to say, firstly, thanks for reading and following my story (especially if you've very kindly messaged me to express your appreciation) and,

Just Like My Dad Part 1

JUST LIKE MY DAD PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===I met my friend Ivan because I bought my car from him.I liked him because he was so unlike the younger, cockier salesmen I'd encountered in all the other dealerships. I'd been trawling showrooms most of the weekend and had long since grown bored of being pestered by smarmy

Just Like My Dad Part 2

JUST LIKE MY DAD PART 2by Robert Furlong===robert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===As I drove Ivan back across town in my swanky new car, I asked him how he'd ended up seeking out men for sex in spite of being married to such an attractive woman and having what he'd described as an 'enjoyable' sex life.

Like Father Like Son Part 1

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.com===The first time I felt like I might be developing feelings for another man was the night when we'd gone out for a meal, and Marcus – my son's friend from university – made a joke that it was like I was Guy's boyfriend.We'd all laughed at the absurdity of the suggestion – after all, Guy and I are both

Like Father Like Son Part 2

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON PART 2by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.com===I stood in front of them, my son grinning broadly at me while Marcus, still kneeling forwards with his hands prizing his arse-cheeks apart, peered over in wide-eyed horror.

Mankini Bearcub Part 1

MANKINI BEARCUB PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===A couple of months ago a lad called James I know at work pulled me to one side to show me something on his phone. I knew it was going to be a piss-take the way his mates were all sniggering and throwing glances at each other and it turned out it was the stupid mankini video which my

Mankini Bearcub Part 2

MANKINI BEARCUB PART 2by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===

Medical History

MEDICAL HISTORYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Online Briefing

ONLINE BRIEFINGPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===I scrolled down the pictures of men's underwear filling the screen, trying to locate the Calvin Klein boxer briefs Jake prefers. If I bought him the wrong ones, he'd wear them once and then that would be it. He'd say they were

Pantomime Cow

PANTOMIME COWPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong=Jake mentioned over tea that the drama department at his college was looking for someone to help out with the Christmas pantomime. It was still early November but rehearsals were already underway.

Pleasant Thoughts

PLEASANT THOUGHTSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong==Debbie turned out to be very nice. A bit giggly, perhaps, but that could be put down to the nervousness of being on a first date. She probably thought me too quiet for the same reason.We'd got on well – better than I'd dared to hope – and I'd suggested that we could meet

Questions and Answers

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Roadside Assistance

ROADSIDE ASSISTANCEPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===Driving over to Rugby for a meeting with a prospective customer, my car started spluttering on the A4304, and refused to respond when I tried to accelerate. Half a mile on, the engine was threatening to cut out altogether, so I pulled

Silas in the Library

SILAS IN THE LIBRARYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Stain Devils

STAIN DEVILSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===The restaurant seemed a lot more expensive than those I was used to: it certainly wouldn't have been the sort of place I'd have picked if given the choice. The starters alone cost more than I would usually be prepared to pay for a whole meal,

Surprise at Rogerson Shopping Mall

SURPRISE AT ROGERSON SHOPPING MALL by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === I'd agreed to meet my son Jake in Leeds city centre one Saturday afternoon. He was in his second year of studying at the university there and, as I had most of the day free, I thought it would be nice for the two of us to meet up for a coffee and chat. I was picking

Taking It All In

TAKING IT ALL INThe penultimate part of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comFind my older stories at screeve.org===It's not every day one gets caught by one's own son being anally pleasured by another man, but that's how Saturday had started out for me.I'd woken rather later than I usually would, a consequence of a very eventful

The Bride's Brother Part 1

THE BRIDE'S BROTHER PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===Ricky, my partner, unlocked the bedroom door and I noticed Jason peering down the corridor to make sure the three of us weren't being watched.

The Bride's Brother Part 2

THE BRIDE'S BROTHER PART 2by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===We threw our jackets on the floor and then kissed again, grinding our erections together through our open zippers, regardless of the fact we were smearing each other's precum across the fronts of our trousers.Ricky smiled as my tongue entered his mouth and this time he let me

The Halfway Inn Part 1

THE HALFWAY INN PART 1by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===I glanced across at Pete as I took off my shirt. Perhaps because he was a lot younger than me, he seemed oblivious to any sense of self-consciousness or embarrassment that the two of us were having to share a room and get undressed together. He looked young enough to have graduated from

The Halfway Inn Part 2

THE HALFWAY INN PART 2by Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===I got on the bed first, kneeling down on the mattress and splaying my legs wide open. Seeing me like that, facing him expectantly with my cock arching upwards, made Pete laugh again.

The Paint Job (Part 1)

THE PAINT JOB (PART 1 of 4) by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === With the current fashion for newlyweds to have their wedding night nuptials committed to canvas, I have become familiar with sketching hesitant couples alongside their conjugal beds. Painting such tender moments presents a fascinating artistic challenge and I've developed a

The Paint Job (Part 2)

THE PAINT JOB (PART 2 of 4) by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === "You've obviously discussed the other five paintings of the set in some detail," I remarked to my two clients. "Could you give me a rundown of what you have in mind to give me an idea of context." "Okay, so the first is the beautiful composition of us kneeling face-to-face

The Paint Job (Part 3)

THE PAINT JOB (PART 3 of 4) by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === "So... onto the first consummation," I suggested, pausing for the two men to reposition themselves and sit alongside each other on the couch. "In this painting, Adam is... er... making love to Stephen. Am I okay to describe it like that?" I'd expected Adam to haughtily

The Paint Job (Part 4)

THE PAINT JOB (PART 4 of 4) by Robert Furlong === robert.furlong@rocketmail.com dirty-shorts.tumblr.com === After leaving the tea to brew, I went back through to the studio to find Adam and Stephen having what looked like very intense sex together kneeling on the couch. They were both upright and facing forwards. Stephen had one arm around Adam's prominent chest, fondling a

The Right Trousers

THE RIGHT TROUSERSPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===On Friday afternoon, after meeting a group of potential clients at their Coventry head office, I thought I'd take a walk into the city centre before the shops closed to see if I could find a new pair of trousers. I'd been wondering what

Troy Story

TROY STORYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

Up At The Crack

UP AT THE CRACKby Robert Furlongrobert.furlong@rocketmail.comrobertfurlong.tumblr.com===A few months ago I met a guy called Edward and it turned out that, among his varied and chequered past, he'd been divorced and has a son in his late teens, just like me.His lad is called Ashley; he's eighteen and at university in Sheffield. My son is Jake who's nineteen and at Leeds.

What Happened in Harvey's Room Part 1

WHAT HAPPENED IN HARVEY'S ROOMPART 1: CIRCLE JERKby Robert Furlong===robert.furlong@rocketmail.comdirty-shorts.tumblr.com===The five of us gathered round Harvey's laptop, pulled our dicks out and he loaded up the movie so we could all wank off to it.I was new to the academy and I'd never been in a circle jerk before, so it seemed funny and horny at the same time for us

What Happened in Harvey's Room Part 2

WHAT HAPPENED IN HARVEY'S ROOMPART 2: SLOPPY SECONDSby Robert Furlong===robert.furlong@rocketmail.comdirty-shorts.tumblr.com===It turned out to be totally different from playing around with girls. For a start, we didn't even get on his bed together and there was cuddling each other or anything like that.I just hitched the front of my jeans down so my aching hard-on

What Lurks Beneath

WHAT LURKS BENEATHPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong===As I was getting into bed, Guy returned to the room chuckling that the lads had still been on their DS, which he'd confiscated.

Work and Play

WORK AND PLAYPart of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong

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